Digging In - Matthew 14:22-33

Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.”  Matthew 14:22-33 NLT

 I think often we read this story of Peter walking on water and we think “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Why didn’t he trust Jesus?” I used to do that. Now, I realize I act like Peter on a pretty regular basis.

 One day, I’ll be really bold in my prayers. I say prayers like “Father God, I want to live for you! I want to do _________________. No matter what, please make my life what you want it to be.” 

Then things start to shift and change and my prayers become something like “I can’t do this. What are you doing? This is scary.” When I do this, I am Peter. One day I am bold and courageous, standing outside the boat. Next day I am insecure and afraid, jumping back into the boat. 

I love Jesus’ response to Peter. I don’t think he criticized him. He just asked the questions I so often hear in my spirit. “Why don’t you trust me?” I love how the Message puts it. Jesus says to Peter “Faint-heart, what got into you?” That’s me some days. Faint-heart. 

There are a few things that encourage me as I jump in and out of the boat. Jesus knows my inclination to want to feel “safe.” But because He loves me so very much, He’s working with me. Like Peter, he gently encourages me to trust Him. Can you imagine the conversation Peter and Jesus had as they walked back to the boat? 

Another thing that encourages me is Peter’s life. He went on to deny Jesus (guess he was jumping back into the boat at that moment). But, in 2 Peter 1:3-4 he says:

 “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” (NLT)

 Peter figured out how to trust Jesus’ promises. Shortly after he wrote this, he went on to be crucified for his faith. History says that he asked to be crucified upside down. Guess in this moment he was out of the boat and he stayed there. He stayed out in the storm. 

 I am so thankful that Jesus never gives up on us. He keeps working with us…getting us to the place where we trust Him. Like Peter, I want to dig into the promises and know that no matter what, I can stay out of the boat because that is where I am truly safe. How about you?

When I Am Afraid (or Uncomfortable)

When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. Psalm 56:3 (MSG)

The last few days I’ve had this knot in my stomach. You know, the knot that just sits there and if you even think for just a second about why it’s there, it grows so your entire body feels like a spring about ready to snap. That’s where my state of mind has been if I even pause for a second to think.

It’s not COVID that is making me feel this way. It’s another person. I found out that someone I care about has been doing something hurtful to me and others. And, I need to address it. And…I don’t want to.

There are a host of reasons I don’t want to but I assume they are the same reasons we use whenever we don’t want to do something. When we see an injustice and we need to confront it. When we need to establish boundaries in our life. When we have to make a decision to stand up for what is right when it’s really, really messy. When God calls us to do something and we can think of a host of reason why this isn’t going to work.

Being afraid isn’t always about fear for your physical self. Sometimes, it is just the fear of facing the uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to tell someone what they are doing is harmful. It’s even more uncomfortable when you know (from past conversations) that they are not going to listen and you’ll have to take further action. All of this puts a knot in your stomach the size of Texas. Especially when you care about them.

This is where I’ve been sitting for a few days. And it’s made me drop to my knees. It’s made me plead with God for wisdom, peace and his love in my heart. It’s made me ask him why. Why would you allow this? Why did you put this person in my life? You knew this would happen. Why don’t they care?

As I’ve knelt there with all the questions circling in my head, I have been reminded of a few things.

1. God did know this from the beginning and he has a plan.

2. In all situations if I follow his lead, his name will be glorified. That is the most important thing.

3. I may not see all the reasons for everything now, but one day….maybe on the other side….I will understand. The most important thing right now is to keep walking.

4. I trust Him. I trust that he is walking this with me. I trust that he will breathe wisdom, courage, peace and most importantly his heart into this situation.

I still don’t like it. I wish I didn’t have to do this. But God is in it with me…..he promises….and I believe him.

Faith over Fear

For God has said, “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” Let us be bold, then, and say,

“The Lord is my helper,
    I will not be afraid.
What can anyone do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6 (GNT)

Yesterday was a hard COVID day. Someone we love very much was exposed to the virus. We are praying. Someone we love very much has a relative that has the virus and is in critical condition. We are praying. We know lots of people that are not working and are so unsure of what’s next. We are praying. We know people on the front lines working to help those in need. They are overwhelmed and exhausted. We are praying. We know people whose businesses are in real trouble. We are praying.

As I lay in bed this morning, I pondered all this. And slowly, slowly a fear began to grip my heart. There are so many people that need help. So many people that are facing unimaginable things. Lord, where are you? Why don’t you stop this? And as I went down this path, the fear began to grow into a knot in my stomach.

And the thought popped into my head “What do you put your trust in?”

And I remembered. I remembered that I put my trust in a God that will never leave me or forsake me. I remembered where my help comes from. (Psalm 121) I remembered that who I believe in can’t always be seen (Hebrews 11:1). I remembered that God is with us wherever we go. (Joshua 1:9) I remembered that when we walk through the waters, we will not be overcome. (Isaiah 41)

As I remembered, the knot in my stomach and the fear in my heart began to dissipate. I felt a peace. I know who holds the future. I trust him. I trust that he loves us. I will not be afraid.

At least for today….tomorrow I may need to remember again. And that’s OK.

When I Am Afraid....

David, the anointed one of God, was suddenly thrust into a life of chaos. He went from

living in the royal residence to living in caves
being served dinner on silver platters to hunting and scrounging for his food
being the favored one of Israel to being hunted
feeling safe and secure to never being able to relax

All because of Saul’s jealousy.

During these times, David wrote some amazing praises to God. Here are some of the words.

O Lord, I have come to you for protection;
    don’t let me be disgraced.
    Save me, for you do what is right.
2 Turn your ear to listen to me;
    rescue me quickly.
Be my rock of protection,
    a fortress where I will be safe.
3 You are my rock and my fortress.
    For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger.
14 But I am trusting you, O Lord,
    saying, “You are my God!”
15 My future is in your hands.
    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
16 Let your favor shine on your servant.
    In your unfailing love, rescue me. Psalm 31:1-3, 14-16 (ESV)

1 I will praise the Lord at all times.
    I will constantly speak his praises.
2 I will boast only in the Lord;
    let all who are helpless take heart.
3 Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;
    let us exalt his name together.
4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
    He freed me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
    no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
6 In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
    he saved me from all my troubles.
7 For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
    he surrounds and defends all who fear him.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good.
    Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Psalm 34:1-8 (ESV)

3 But when I am afraid,
    I will put my trust in you.
4 I praise God for what he has promised.
    I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
    What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 (ESV)

When things are upside down, turned inside out, look to your fortress. Look to Jesus. He promises never to leave you or forsake you. Trust him. He loves you..

Hold Me

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 (NLT)

My grandson loves to play with his Papou (Grandfather.) He will come over and they will play together and explore all kinds of things. One of the games they play is Hide and Seek. Now that The Little Dude (our nickname for our grandson) is older, my husband hides and the Dude is supposed to find him. Except, the Dude now knows that sometimes my husband will jump out and scare him.

When they start to play, my grandson comes and grabs my hand and says “Hold me.” It’s his way of saying he wants me to pick him up. Then he points to the room where his Papou is hiding and says he wants me to play too. As I walk into the room, he wraps his arms around my neck and buries his face in my shoulder and holds on!

You see, he wants to have the adventure with his grandfather but he is also nervous about what’s around the corner. He doesn’t stop playing and walk away, he goes to get someone that will hold him so he doesn’t have to face it alone.

I feel this same way sometimes. I love the adventures I go on with God but sometimes they make me nervous. Heck, sometimes they are downright scary. A part of me wants to turn around and sit comfortably in the room with all the lights on. There, I can see everything that is going to happen and I know how to handle it. But if I did this, I would miss out on the adventure with my Heavenly Father.

I am trying to be more like my grandson. I go to Jesus and say “I am afraid of this next step. Will you hold me?” And he does. As I pour out my concerns to him, he takes hold of my hand and says “Just keep walking. I am here with you.” I am still nervous, just like my grandson, but somehow venturing into the unknown is a lot easier if I am being held.

Liberation

Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen. Hebrews 11:1 (VOICE)

In the Bible, Jesus tells people that their faith has saved them. In the story of the woman who anointed Jesus feet, he tells her that her faith has liberated her. (Luke 7:50 VOICE)

We look at the level in which we believe something and we call that faith. And it is but what happens when what we are believing isn’t happening? What happens when God isn’t showing up the way we want him to? Do we still have faith?

Do we still believe that God is in the middle of it when it gets really, really hard? Do we stretch our faith to believe that no matter what we see happening around us, God is in control of it and it will be better than what we think or want? Do we have faith even if we never, ever see what we are praying for come to pass?

Can I challenge us a little? Do you think God wants to grow our faith? Do you think things happen to stretch us so that faith truly becomes about what we cannot comprehend? Faith is more than what we can see right now. It’s beyond that; it is believing in things that are so far out of our reach that we can’t imagine it.

And more importantly, faith is about who we believe in. Everything else is non-consequential. You see, there will always be trials and pain. But beyond that, there is Jesus. And he loves us. If we grab hold of Jesus and hold on to what we know about him no matter what is happening, that is faith. It is the kind of faith that says “I don’t know why things are going this way but, I know you. I trust you. And I will believe in your goodness more than I believe in my circumstances.”

And that is where the liberation comes in.

I'm Right Here

Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:40 (NLT)

Have you ever watched a child encounter something scary? They quickly locate the person nearest to them that they trust and they go to them. That is their safe place.

What do we do when we encounter something scary or overwhelming? We focus on it, imagine all the worst things that can happen and sometimes, we are unable to get ourselves out of that place.

When the disciples were reacting to the storm, they said to Jesus “Don’t you care that we are going to die?” And in Jesus response it was almost like he was saying “I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. I haven’t forgotten about you.”

Why do we forget that Jesus is right here? He hasn’t forgotten us. He’s not too busy to notice what we are going through and he will never, ever abandon us. No matter what storm we are going through.

What if we acted like little children (Matthew 18:3) instead of scared disciples? What if when we encounter something overwhelming, we locate Jesus and go sit next to him and remember that he is in charge of every storm? This is how we define faith. The ability to trust that Jesus has this no matter what tempest is circling our boat.