When I Am Afraid (or Uncomfortable)

When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. Psalm 56:3 (MSG)

The last few days I’ve had this knot in my stomach. You know, the knot that just sits there and if you even think for just a second about why it’s there, it grows so your entire body feels like a spring about ready to snap. That’s where my state of mind has been if I even pause for a second to think.

It’s not COVID that is making me feel this way. It’s another person. I found out that someone I care about has been doing something hurtful to me and others. And, I need to address it. And…I don’t want to.

There are a host of reasons I don’t want to but I assume they are the same reasons we use whenever we don’t want to do something. When we see an injustice and we need to confront it. When we need to establish boundaries in our life. When we have to make a decision to stand up for what is right when it’s really, really messy. When God calls us to do something and we can think of a host of reason why this isn’t going to work.

Being afraid isn’t always about fear for your physical self. Sometimes, it is just the fear of facing the uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to tell someone what they are doing is harmful. It’s even more uncomfortable when you know (from past conversations) that they are not going to listen and you’ll have to take further action. All of this puts a knot in your stomach the size of Texas. Especially when you care about them.

This is where I’ve been sitting for a few days. And it’s made me drop to my knees. It’s made me plead with God for wisdom, peace and his love in my heart. It’s made me ask him why. Why would you allow this? Why did you put this person in my life? You knew this would happen. Why don’t they care?

As I’ve knelt there with all the questions circling in my head, I have been reminded of a few things.

1. God did know this from the beginning and he has a plan.

2. In all situations if I follow his lead, his name will be glorified. That is the most important thing.

3. I may not see all the reasons for everything now, but one day….maybe on the other side….I will understand. The most important thing right now is to keep walking.

4. I trust Him. I trust that he is walking this with me. I trust that he will breathe wisdom, courage, peace and most importantly his heart into this situation.

I still don’t like it. I wish I didn’t have to do this. But God is in it with me…..he promises….and I believe him.

Hard Is Good

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NLT)

I know a woman. We’ll call her Kate for anonymity purposes. A couple of years ago, she had a stroke. As you can imagine, this turned her world upside down. The stroke was pretty bad and she’s spent considerable time recovering and getting her life back on track.

Recently, we had a huge event at our church. During the event, we feed somewhere between 150 and 200 people. Kate was in charge of the food. She’s held this role before and she’s really good at it. This time, I was in the facility kitchen trying to be helpful (hospitality is not one of my gifts so I am not kidding when I say I was trying to be helpful). As I was watching the chaos in the kitchen, I noticed Kate.

The stroke impacted her walking a little bit. She’s worked really hard to get things to function exactly as they did before but there is still a tiny hint that there is more healing to be done. As she moved about the kitchen, I noticed this. And then, I noticed that it didn’t slow her down one bit. She kept moving.

You see, Kate’s desire is to serve God. She wants to be used by him for his glory. And while she would have every reason to say “Sorry, I can’t help with that”, she doesn’t. She signs up and digs in and trusts that God is going to help her get the job done.

My respect for Kate grew immensely that day. We are so quick to make excuses for why we can’t do what God calls us to do. We look at things and think they are hard so that gives us an out. I think that should inspire us to push on that hard to open door and run through it!

It’s through the really hard stuff that God is glorified the most. When we can do it on our own, we are glorifying ourselves. When we can’t, we are glorifying God.

I want to be more like Kate. I want to face the hard stuff head on and say “God, you’ve got this. Let’s do this thing!” How about you? What really hard thing are you facing today that needs God in the middle of it?

A Minute In It - Hanging In There

A minute in God’s Word will change your life. Take a moment to read the text below and then answer the questions at the bottom of the post.

17 But now I said to them, “You know very well what trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire. Let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and end this disgrace!” 18 Then I told them about how the gracious hand of God had been on me, and about my conversation with the king.

They replied at once, “Yes, let’s rebuild the wall!” So they began the good work.

19 But when Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem the Arab heard of our plan, they scoffed contemptuously. “What are you doing? Are you rebelling against the king?” they asked.

20 I replied, “The God of heaven will help us succeed. We, his servants, will start rebuilding this wall. But you have no share, legal right, or historic claim in Jerusalem.” Nehemiah 2:17-20 (NLT)

As Nehemiah began to talk to the Israelites, what was the first story he shared?
How did the people respond?
Was everyone happy about the task Nehemiah was given?
What did the naysayers do?
Who did Nehemiah trust to complete the job?

Even when God calls us to a task, it doesn’t mean the task will be easy. Nehemiah was called, God miraculously answered his prayer and still he ran into problems during the rebuilding. When God calls us, we will face adversity but we should always recount the way God has moved so far and trust that he will finish the task.

Let Not

You must not let yourselves be distressed—you must hold on to your faith in God and to your faith in me.  John 14:1 (PHILLIPS)

The day started off rather well. It was a bright morning, birds were singing and I was looking forward to accomplishing my tasks. Then, I remembered. I remembered a meeting I had that was not going to be fun. The knot grew in my stomach and I began to stress about it.

As I continued to ponder the possible outcomes, I got more anxious. Like, debilitating, can’t move forward anxious. And I thought, “This is going downhill fast. God, I need help.” Today’s verse popped into my head.

Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me. (that version my mom made me memorize when I was little.)

The words “Let not” began to resonate. Let not. Don’t let. Fight the anxiety. But how? Honestly, I wasn’t sure how do to that but I decided to stay focused on those words. At least if I had something to focus on, no one would see the turmoil inside.

As I drove to the meeting, the knot grew I repeated the verse. “Let not your heart be troubled.” Trust me.

As I walked into the building.

“Let not your heart be troubled.”

As I stood at the elevator. Uh oh. The feeling is getting worse.

“Let not your heart be troubled.”

And after each agenda item was read before we got to me. “Let not your heart be troubled.” Honestly, there were moments I couldn’t remember the verse! I’d have to turn my brain off of worry and search for the verse in my head. But when I found it, I felt better.

Gradually, every time I repeated the verse I noticed that I felt a little calmer. Pretty soon, I was calm enough to remember that no matter how it turned out, I trusted God to have it.

We got through the meeting and while it wasn’t great, it was better than I expected. There are still some things to walk through but I now have my go-to.

Don’t let yourself forget who God is. What you are looking at is stressful but God will walk you through it every single step of the way.

Wilderness Walking

Then they plotted among themselves, “Let’s choose a new leader and go back to Egypt! Numbers 14:4 (NLT)

As the Israelites wandered the wilderness, they had this nasty habit of complaining. As I read through the Old Testament, I am amazed that over and over again they say "We would have been better off in Egypt." Didn't they remember they were slaves there? Didn't they remember the abuse, the toil, the total lack of freedom? 

And then, during one of their temper tantrums, they actually made plans to choose a new leader and go back to Egypt. And God said, "OK! If you don't want to go to into the Promised Land, you don't have to."

God doesn't ever force us to do anything against our will. He wants the relationship with us. He wants the conversation and the sharing and he wants us to see that what he has planned is way better than what we have planned. He will try to show us that. But, if we choose not to see it or if we choose not to go along, he is not going to force us. After all, that is not love and God is love.

I find it incredibly sad that the Israelites were stuck in this mindset. I guess when things look bleak or you don't see movement in the direction you want it's easy to be convinced that God has stepped out of the picture. I know I've gone there.  

This is where our faith comes in.  Faith is what you lean on when it doesn't look like you think it should and you can't see anything happening. Faith is staying put, trusting that God is working on your behalf. Faith is praising instead of complaining.  

We all walk in the wilderness sometimes. We all are tempted to believe that God isn't in it. But his promises are clear.  He is always in it,. He is always on the journey with you. He always loves you.

Fourteen Years Of Trouble

And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before.  Genesis 42:9 (NLT)

Fourteen years.  Joseph had a dream that his brothers would one day bow down to him. He shared that dream with them. And then he had another similar dream. He shared that with his fathers and his brother. At this, his father chastised him and brothers were very angry. The brothers solution?  Why, let's sell him into slavery to get rid of him.

Fast forward 14 years. The Bible says in verse 6, Since Joseph was governor of all Egypt and in charge of selling grain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came. When they arrived, they bowed before him with their faces to the ground. 

It took 14 years from the time Joseph had his dreams about his brothers before it came to fruition. What do you think took so long?  If this was God's plan, why didn't he just work it out?

 In Psalms 105:19 it says Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character. I read this text as an "until/and". God's timing is a combination of things. The time has to be perfect and our character needs to be ready. Joseph had the dream but there was no famine. It was a dream of things to come. And, without testing his character, would Joseph be ready to be the second in command of Egypt?

I often wonder why things seem to take forever. God has us on a journey and the journey is long and hard. I want it to be over and done with. But, as I read this story I begin to understand that God's timing is flawless. He knows when things need to happen and he knows when we are ready.

Today, if you feel like you are walking through years of trouble, hold on. God's been timing things for thousands of years and he hasn't gotten it wrong yet.