For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13 (NLT)
I can’t help but think at the beginning of the New Year about my habits. Are there things I should stop? Things I should start? I already mentioned that I really don’t like to exercise. It’s not the physical movement, just the idea of having to do it. I have that same thought process with a lot of things. I don’t like to have to do it, I want to want to do it.
I felt the same way about “church.” After being raised as a Christian, for quite a few years I decided I was going to do something else. That something else included a lot of bad habits. I was pretty happy in this life-style (or so I thought.)
One day, I took my kids to church. Honestly, because I felt like I had to. As I was sitting there with them listening to the sermon, I heard “Why don’t you come back?” Funny, even though I was not used to hearing God talk, I knew that’s who it was. And I said, “No thank you. I don’t need the rules. Church is usually a bunch of people who judge you and it is not fun.” Again, I heard it and again I replied the same way. And then God did something I didn’t expect. He said, “Don’t follow the rules. Come get to know me.” Maybe because he surprised me with that, maybe because that intrigued me, I said “OK. What do I have to lose? But, I am not going to give up all the things I do and all the things I like.” And God said, “Just get to know me.”
I left church that day and started the very long journey of getting to know God. I started reading a little devotional in the morning. Took me five minutes. After a while, I started praying and talking to God. And the journey continued.
God often surprised me by the funny things he did. Like the time when I was trying to quit smoking. Do you see the irony in this? I was trying so hard. Every time I failed and smoked, I would stop talking to God. One day as I thought about praying but felt guilty about the smoking and decided against it I heard “You know, I can see you when you smoke so why are you not talking to me? It’s not like you’re going to hide it.” The tone of the voice sounded like the tone I used with my kids when they were trying to hide something. I laughed and started talking to him in spite of the smoking and every other growth area.
As I look back these many years later, I realize I actually have stopped doing a lot of the things I said I wouldn’t stop. Some of the things I thought I liked, I no longer care about. And some of the things I swore I would never do, like talk about Jesus all the time, I do.
I wonder if when God said “Just get to know me” he smiled because he knew that when I did, I would fall in love with him. I wonder if he knew that the friendship we’ve grown would become the most important thing in my life.
That list of things I should stop and things I should start? I don’t really have a formal list. But, I give the control of that to God. I ask him what he wants me to stop and what he wants me to start. Because honestly, after all these years I’ve learned that if it’s on his list, it will make me happy.