You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20 (NLT)
The other day during a Bible Study, we started talking about forgiveness. One person shared that they had someone in their life they forgave, but they were struggling with feelings about it that kept popping up. It felt like they were burying those feelings. You know, intellectually forgiving but not really forgiving deep down?
I suggested that they take all of those deep down buried feelings and talk to God about them. Tell Him how they felt - really felt - not hiding anything. God knew already so He wasn’t going to be surprised. God meets us in our real selves, not in our facades.
The next morning during my worship, I decided to take my own advice and talk to God about someone I had forgiven. I said to him “While all of that was really painful, I know you used it for good and it actually turned out to be a good thing.” Today’s Bible text popped into my mind. Joseph said the same thing to his brothers. They were so afraid he had not really forgiven them, they lied to him thinking he would take revenge on them now that their dad had died.
I pondered. Joseph went through a lot more than I did. His life was really horrible as a slave and then a prisoner for so many years. What made Joseph totally, deep down forgive them and not hold any hard feelings toward his brothers? And why did he cry? Did he cry because he was overwhelmed at God’s goodness? Did he cry because after all of these years they couldn’t see he truly loved them? Did he cry because the grace of God lived in his heart and he hurt for them? Truly, Joseph’s heart was full of love for his brothers. That love only came from God.
I prayed about this some more and a few days later realized that the reason Joseph could acknowledge God’s plan in spite of his horrible situation was because he knew and trusted God. He leaned on Him the entire time he was on that journey and he saw first-hand how God had worked it out. And then I realized that this is the only reason I can forgive. I saw what God did with that very bad situation and realized that even while it was painful and it hurt, God used it for His glory. He used it to grow me and in the midst of that really hard thing, He changed me. He grew me to know and trust Him more.
I know walking through life’s pain, especially when it is inflicted by someone you know and love, is really hard. I know forgiving is hard. But I also know that it becomes a lot easier when we trust that God will work it out. He will use it. He will love and grow us through it. And I believe that it is only through our knowledge of Him, our relationship with Him, that we can like Joseph say “God worked it all out. It’s OK.” and truly mean it.