Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5 (NKJV)
When I started my journey with God....actually, that’s not accurate. I have been on a journey with God for a long time. How about this? When God decided it was time I went “All In”, Proverbs 3:5 became my life verse.
Life as I knew it was changing. It was falling apart all around me. My business lost our largest contract due to unscrupulous actions of others. I had to lay most of the staff off. I was not going to be able to pay myself. From where I stood, I was about to lose everything. And this is where I, in a panic stricken state, was numbly sitting. And trust me, numbly is the correct word. I think I was in shock. All I could do was pray “Help me.” I was sure everything was going to collapse around me. I imagined losing my home and all sorts of other things.
For three days I just walked around and prayed “God, please help me.” I didn’t tell anyone what was happening. Not even my husband because I felt like if I spoke it, it would become more real.
After about 3 days, I woke up and Proverbs 3:5 was the first thing I heard. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I’m going to be honest. I knew it was a Bible verse but I didn’t know where it was in the Bible. I got up, went downstairs and looked it up. I knew it was God talking to me. The rest of my “All In” journey is a series of awesome miracles with God showing up and teaching me to be “All In.”
Fast forward a few years. It’s been a roller coaster ride with God. We are definitely “All In” (Well, we think we are. I am sure God has more “In” in mind.) As we travel this journey, I pray. I pray that God leads us into a deeper surrender and a deeper walk. I pray that for us and our families.
Recently, my son came and told me God had been speaking to him. He said he needed to start his “All In” journey with God. Those are not his words. They are mine. And I said OK.
There are a lot of scary things in this that I am not going to share because it is not my story to tell but this Mama’s heart was in a knot. What if this? And what if that? How is this going to happen, etc.? And God gently says “Let it go Mama. I am his God. I love him and am calling him.” Trust me when I say “letting it go” is a constant process.
Isn’t this what I have always wanted? Isn’t this what I have always prayed for? Here’s the really funny thing. When God walked me through the “All In” process, it was scary because depending on God and God alone is well....terrifying. But when it’s your son or daughter, well, it takes scary to a new level. We are always used to helping. And we can’t. Not this time. This is something I can’t do. This belongs solely to God.
And then my life verse shows up and I realize that in this case, when God says “Trust me with all of your heart”, I am. All of my heart includes my kids and my family. Suddenly, trust me is about truly trusting him with the most precious things in my life. And I do. With all of my heart and all of the people in my heart. I know that whatever God has planned for them is WAY better than what I can ask or imagine.
So here we are.....going “All In” with “All of our heart.”