Who is He to you?

I know that You can do anything and no plan of Yours can be thwarted. Job 42:2 (HCSB)

A friend of mine was deeply hurting. I’m talking gut-wrenching hurt from a tremendous loss. We were texting back and forth but honestly, I was slow to respond because I wanted to pray. This was hard. How do you even respond to such pain?

In my response I said “I am not sure why God allowed this.” Later, I heard Satan say “Why did you say that? You are just going to drive her farther from God. How do you know how she feels about that?”

At first, my reaction was to listen to that voice and I started to spiral into a “What have I done?” scenario. But then, I slowed my thoughts and prayed. And as I began to process my response I wondered. Would I want to serve a God who was not in complete control? If God did not have authority over everything, what would be the point?

We want everything to turn out just the way we want. I know I do. I don’t like the pain, death, bad things that happen. It makes my heart hurt. As I ponder and pray through all of this, I figure I have two choices. I can believe God is in control or I can believe that he’s not. This choice then becomes about who I believe God is.

Do I believe that Satan will do everything he can to turn us from trusting God? Yes.
Do I believe that God allows these things? Yes.
Do I always understand why? No.
Do I believe that in spite of all that my eyes see that he loves us and that his plan is bigger and better than I can comprehend? Yes.

Jesus told us in the Bible that we were going to have bad days, hard days....days like he had. We shouldn’t be surprised by what’s happening. What we should do is hold on to our belief in a God that has not relinquished his authority on this world. We need to “see” with our faith, not just our eyes.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

From Heart To Mouth

Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
    for I give myself to you.
Teach me to do your will,
    for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
    on a firm footing.
Psalm 143:8, 10 (NLT)

A few years ago my friend Denise and I went to spend a long weekend with another friend. She had a lot of things happening in her life that were creating a ton of stress and she needed to be kidnapped for a long weekend of girl time. Denise and I flew into town and she picked us up at the airport. We went back to her house, packed up the car and took off. As she drove us toward our destination, someone cut us off almost causing an accident. She moved her hand toward the windshield and said "Friend!"

Denise and I started laughing and making jokes about how that may not have been the "F" word we chose to use in a time like that. But that is her nature. She is probably one of the sweetest people I know. Made me wonder how you get to the point that you say "Friend" to someone who truly irritates you instead of other choice words.

Then I remembered a conversation I had with her a year or so before the "Friend" incident. One day we were talking and the subject came up about someone who had hurt her. As we started to talk she said "I really shouldn't comment on this because I haven't spent my time with God yet." And there you have it. Each day, she put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6). The covering that seeps into your thoughts and emotions so when things don't go just the way you want them to, it is God that comes through, not you. 

That's what I want. I want to hear him first thing - to hear of the unfailing love that saved me - to talk about his plans for the day and to follow where he leads. I want to put on the armor that reminds me even when things don't go right, I am covered. And most of all, I want a heart that calls someone who really ticks me off, "Friend."

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. (Ephesians 6:10-11)

An Unlikely Comfort Zone

You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me. I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near and nothing can shake me. Psalm 16:5-8 (GNT)

Recently, a friend and I were sharing about how chaotic life has become. I realized in talking to her how much I have changed. I used to be a planner. Now, don't get me wrong, I still plan but I used to plan everything. I was proud of the fact that I was super organized and that I could get a lot of stuff done because of it. This was my comfort zone. Everything was organized and everything went as planned (mostly).

Fast forward a few years. My life has taken twists and turns that have been unforeseeable and totally out of my control. You can obviously tell in the paragraph above that control was important to me and it was kept me comfortable. So you can also imagine how hard this was to deal with.

Have you ever been in this place? You want to control something but you can't so you pick something super ridiculous and hold fast. This happened to me when my husband brought home a new frying pan and I had a mini-fit. I am not proud of this and when I shared the story with my friend, she laughed and summed it up correctly when she said, "Elaine, that is just wrong." Thank God for good friends who can laugh with you at your ridiculous moments. I realized after my mini-fit that I wasn't really mad about the frying pan, I was still trying to hold on to some semblance of control. I went to my knees.

God has since been working on my heart. He is teaching me that the only person really in control is him. I am not in control and never will be. He is teaching me to have a new comfort zone. It has nothing to do with planning or controlling. It has everything to do with trust. Because I am learning to trust him, I can face a totally out-of-control, uncomfortable situation and go to my comfort zone. I talk to God, read my Bible and turn it over.  I am learning to relax in his presence and in the knowledge that everything is under control.....just not my control. I am learning to love my new comfort zone.  Instead of figuring out how to make it work the way I want, I can look to see how God is working it out.

I am still a work in progress but thank God, he's not finished with me yet!