Forgiving Deep Down

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20 (NLT)

The other day during a Bible Study, we started talking about forgiveness. One person shared that they had someone in their life they forgave, but they were struggling with feelings about it that kept popping up. It felt like they were burying those feelings. You know, intellectually forgiving but not really forgiving deep down?

I suggested that they take all of those deep down buried feelings and talk to God about them. Tell Him how they felt - really felt - not hiding anything. God knew already so He wasn’t going to be surprised. God meets us in our real selves, not in our facades.

The next morning during my worship, I decided to take my own advice and talk to God about someone I had forgiven. I said to him “While all of that was really painful, I know you used it for good and it actually turned out to be a good thing.” Today’s Bible text popped into my mind. Joseph said the same thing to his brothers. They were so afraid he had not really forgiven them, they lied to him thinking he would take revenge on them now that their dad had died.

I pondered. Joseph went through a lot more than I did. His life was really horrible as a slave and then a prisoner for so many years. What made Joseph totally, deep down forgive them and not hold any hard feelings toward his brothers? And why did he cry? Did he cry because he was overwhelmed at God’s goodness? Did he cry because after all of these years they couldn’t see he truly loved them? Did he cry because the grace of God lived in his heart and he hurt for them? Truly, Joseph’s heart was full of love for his brothers. That love only came from God.

I prayed about this some more and a few days later realized that the reason Joseph could acknowledge God’s plan in spite of his horrible situation was because he knew and trusted God. He leaned on Him the entire time he was on that journey and he saw first-hand how God had worked it out. And then I realized that this is the only reason I can forgive. I saw what God did with that very bad situation and realized that even while it was painful and it hurt, God used it for His glory. He used it to grow me and in the midst of that really hard thing, He changed me. He grew me to know and trust Him more.

I know walking through life’s pain, especially when it is inflicted by someone you know and love, is really hard. I know forgiving is hard. But I also know that it becomes a lot easier when we trust that God will work it out. He will use it. He will love and grow us through it. And I believe that it is only through our knowledge of Him, our relationship with Him, that we can like Joseph say “God worked it all out. It’s OK.” and truly mean it.

Spotlighting

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:7 (NIV)

I have a question. How did they know they were naked? How did they know what naked was? They’d never experienced it before. And why did they think that to be naked was a bad thing? I guess that’s three questions.

You know how something hits you when you are reading the Bible and you can’t get your mind around it? That is what happened to me when I read this. So I started talking to God about it. Here is what I came to….you may come to something else when you talk to God about it.

First, when we deliberately on purpose sin, God’s presence withdraws. He can’t be around sin. It is so opposite to who he is. And when God’s presence withdraws, I think evil fills in. Did Adam and Eve recognize their sin and shamefulness even though they had never experienced it before? I think when you are in a relationship with God, you are aware of the goodness of God and super aware of your lack of goodness.

Many years ago, I was in a relationship with God. It was amazing. I was so happy. Then temptation loomed its head and I gave in. I did something I knew God did not want me to do. And I remember distinctly the impact on my relationship with Jesus. I felt lost. I felt empty. I was very aware of my sin and every single sin in my life. I didn’t feel like God was there. I felt alone.

Usually when we sin, we have taken our focus off of God and put it on ourselves. So when that spotlight is on us, we realize pretty quickly that the spotlight is in the wrong place. It illuminates all that is wrong and misguided. It illuminates our selfish nature and our compromised hearts.

As I felt this loneliness and darkness, I pleaded with God to help me. I asked him to forgive me and if we could please talk again and be close again. I told him I needed him. One day, I was sitting in my car pleading with God again and I heard “If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed.” (John 8:36) And I knew. I knew the answer to my prayer was Jesus. I knew the answer was that I return my focus to him.

And I did. It made all the difference. I was forgiven. I was loved. I also knew I didn’t want to deliberately choose sin anymore. I hated not feeling connected to God. It was awful. I never again want to turn the focus of my attention on me. I want it to be on Jesus so I don’t lose my way.

I have, of course, sinned since then….we do it every day. But I try not to deliberately choose to defy what I know God wants for my life. The cost is too great. I am also not so naive to believe that I am immune to Satan’s attacks. I am not. Please pray for me. Please pray that I will stay focused on Jesus and not move that spotlight to the wrong place. I will pray that for you too!

Doing the Jesus Thing

Bear with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NCV)

We had known each other a long time. We’d worked together and I believe, our work relationship had grown into a friendship. This couple that I considered friends were good people. I thought. A few years ago, they made a choice that hurt me financially and emotionally. During this process, they didn’t call to explain. We didn’t have any conversations. Immediately and abruptly, the relationship was severed as they made choices that would negatively impact my life - all in the name of business.

As I journeyed through those years, trying to get back on my feet, I prayed to forgive. It didn’t happen immediately but I eventually got to the point where I intellectually said I forgave them. I reasoned that God is in control of everything and truthfully, this journey grew my walk with God in ways nothing else could.

Recently, God revealed to me that I had not completely forgiven them. In my head I could say I did but my heart was not 100% following along. When I heard there names, my head would understand where it needed to be but my deep down self was not as compliant.

There was still a root in there that I have not addressed. There is still hurt and some anger leftover. And God says this cannot be. God tells us (many times) in the Bible to forgive. We need to forgive because we have been forgiven for so very much. But mostly, I think, we need to forgive to be free of that weight that holds us down.

Do you know how I know I have not totally surrendered this to Jesus? I know because when I think of them I don’t see two children of God who Jesus loves so desperately. My heart doesn’t ache for them to know Jesus. Instead, I see two people who are on the wrong path. Sure. I pray for them but mostly I pray for me. I pray that God will help me forgive.

When I have forgiven someone, the negative burden I feel lifts. I begin to see them as someone Jesus heart aches for and I want nothing more than for them to know him. And my prayers follow that with pleas to God that he will reach their hearts.

So, I am back to the beginning. I am facing this thing that happened but with a different goal. I don’t want to get to the place where as a Christian I can say I did what God asks. I want to get to the place where I actually am doing what God asks. Only the transforming power of Jesus can do this in me. I just need to surrender and stop trying to do it on my own.

That Makes Me A Pharisee

Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else. Luke 18:9 (NLT)

The story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector starts off with our text for today. Jesus told it to get the attention of people who thought they were better than someone else. And of course, we as Christians know this is wrong and we should never do it.

So we don’t. Right? Wrong. I can tell you I do it. I don’t want to do it but the thoughts pop into my head. It’s not usually around someone’s job or affluence, it doesn’t involve race or ethnic origin, where they grew up or how educated they are. What do I judge? Christians.

I hold Christians to a higher standard than I hold anyone else. I don’t tout my religious accomplishments like the Pharisee in the story because I know that doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things….that’s not my measuring stick. What I do wonder is how if you are a Christian you (pick something and put it in here). For example, how can you be so legalistic when it’s all about grace? How can you not want to be involved in ministry when we are called to serve? How can you not understand……? Stuff like that. I tend to think Christians should know better.

And that makes me just like the Pharisee in the story.

You see, whether you are judging people for their profession, their race, their job, their income, or their walk with God, it’s wrong. God calls us to love each other unconditionally just as he did. He calls us to show up in people’s lives where ever that may be. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a preconceived notion about someone and after I talked to them found out I was completely wrong. Shame on me.

Now, I will take my Pharisaical self and plead like the tax collector did in the story “O Lord, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner.”

A Different Kind of Freedom

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NLT)

A couple of weeks ago, I did something that at the time seemed good. However, immediately after I did it, I felt this twinge of doubt. I had decided to do something that involved someone else but I didn't ask them first. I knew the twinge was probably because I wasn't respecting the other person and giving them the honor that was due to them.

On the big scale of things, this doesn't seem so bad. I reasoned that I was going to fix it and no one would ever know and all would be well. But, as days slipped by and it was not rectified, I also reasoned away the prick of my conscious. 

Finally, one day during my worship, I felt the Holy Spirit, with more force than a twinge or a prick, tell me to deal with it. Not only did I need to fix the mistake I made but I had to tell the person I had ignored and apologize.

To be clear, I did not want to do this because well, admitting you are wrong and apologizing, that's hard for this sometimes wayward human heart. But I knew God's voice was not going to get quieter and that if I didn't listen and he stopped talking about it, I would have dishonored my relationship with him. While the other unknowing person in this situation would probably never have known, God always does. I had a choice to make.

My relationship with God is more important to me than my pride so I fixed the situation, went to the person, told them what happened and apologized. They were gracious and forgiving. 

The next thing I felt was relief. I'd been carrying that around for two or so weeks and I could feel it festering in my soul.  Suddenly, it was gone. I was freed from that thing that was invading my walk with man and my walk with God. There are all sorts of freedoms that we can celebrate today but, the ability to live free in your heart is the very best one.

Custom-Made For You

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

Do you sin the same way every day?  The mistakes you made Saturday, are they the same mistakes you made on Sunday?

I don't know about you, but on Saturday I may have become angry with someone and said something mean but then on Sunday, I may have told a lie. On Monday, I may irritate my sister on purpose just because she's there. Each day, I sin and no two days or sins are the same.

Did you know that the Hebrew word for new in Verse 23 means different?  Think about it.  This morning God didn't give me the same mercy, compassion and forgiveness that he gave me on Saturday or Sunday. He gave me the mercy, compassion and forgiveness I needed just for today.

Receiving mercy is to receive kindness and compassion that we don't deserve. What kind of God offers you just the perfect mercy each and every day? It is a one-of a kind, custom made mercy. Designed just for you. Given freely with no strings attached.

That, my friends, is OUR God. Great is His Faithfulness!

Running In The Right Direction

But the story sounded like nonsense to the men, so they didn’t believe it. However, Peter jumped up and ran to the tomb to look. Stooping, he peered in and saw the empty linen wrappings; then he went home again, wondering what had happened. Luke 24:11-12 (NLT)

Peter had blown it. He had denied Christ three times and now, Jesus was dead. There was no fixing what he'd broken. Or so he thought.

When Mary and Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early on Sunday morning, Jesus' body was not there. Instead, an angel reminded them of what Jesus said. They rushed to the eleven disciples to share the good news! In verse eleven it says the men did not believe it. Everyone but Peter.

Peter jumped up and ran to the tomb. Do you think as he was running he was hoping and praying that maybe this was his second chance?  Maybe he could tell Jesus he was sorry and be forgiven? Do you think in his heart of hearts even though he knew it was crazy to believe that someone could rise from the dead, he also understood more about this Jesus since he denied him?

Isn't this the story of the gospel in a nutshell?  No matter what you've done, no matter how horrible you think it is, Jesus died and rose again so you would be forgiven. Peter saw his second chance and he went running toward it.

And when Peter turned to Jesus, God used his experience; his understanding of what the good news truly meant to build a church.

Jesus will do the same for us. No matter how many mistakes we make, he is offering us forgiveness. He's saying come; spend time with me. I have a job for you. Today, which way are you running? Toward Jesus or away from him?

A Minute In It - Not What You Thought Would Happen

A minute in Gods' word will change your life.  Reach the passage below and answer the questions after the post.

But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said.

So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said.

But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them. Genesis 50:15-21 (NLT)

Joseph's brothers had sold him into slavery.  Because of this he was imprisoned (either as an indentured servant or in a jail) for about 14 years. When God turned his life around and used him to save Egypt, his brother's resurfaced.

Is there some event in your life that you've gone through....that you can look back on and say "They intended it for harm but God used it for good?"  What are you doing with that? Are you holding on to it and holding a grudge or are you letting it go?  Are you in the middle of such a thing now?  Can you trust that God can make all things work for his good and his glory?