“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.” Matthew 5:3 (MSG)
A few years ago God allowed a journey that took me to the end of my rope. There was a hiccup in the business, actually, it was more than a hiccup. It was a traumatic event that left me wondering if we were going to have to close….for good. I laid people off. I wasn’t getting paid. I had bills to pay.
In my panic, all I could do was pray “Please help me.” I was so numb from the events that took place that I couldn’t even think through a plan...except to pray “Please help me.” It was during that time that God said “Wait.” When you have bills to pay and no money, waiting doesn’t sound like the best plan. As a matter of fact, it sounds downright ludicrous. My logical mind said, “If I can do something about this, I should.” But He was very persistent and the message was always the same. Wait.
So, I told him I would wait as long as he provided. And He did. For a year and a half. For eighteen months I did not get paid but, every month money showed up in all sorts of miraculous ways.
You know what I did for that year and a half? I prayed and asked him to please send work so I could make money again. Finally, I guess I got tired of praying that prayer and I said “You have been providing all this time. I’m not praying that prayer any more. Do what you want.” And I let it go. I think it was at that moment that I was at the end of my rope.
The release and the peace I experienced at that moment was palpable. I can’t help but wonder if that’s what being blessed feels like when you get to the end of your rope. The assurance that God’s got this. The knowledge that He is there and that no matter what He decides will be fine with me. Even if it’s hard.
Another amazing thing that happened during those eighteen months was that He called me to ministry. There was definitely less of me and more of God at the end. I am so very thankful He took me on that journey.