Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
Not sure if I shared this with you but our church is doing a 40-day fast. We started Easter weekend. As I was praying about how to fast, I was also reading this book called Dangerous Prayers: Following Jesus was never meant to be safe by Craig Groeschel. Great book. Somewhere in the book he talked about a routine of praying about how to step out in faith every day. And that became my fast. Each day, I ask God how I can step out in faith that day and I do what I think he is telling me.
At first, it was easier. Email this person. Reach out and talk to so and so. Introduce this idea. Move forward with this business idea. Then, it started getting harder. And I could begin to see a problem. The problem wasn’t in what God was asking, the problem was in my response.
One day, I was praying about some training I wanted to attend for ministry. I’ve gone before and God always uses this training to grow me as a leader and in my walk with him. Funds are tight though so I was thinking maybe I shouldn’t go. I believe I heard God say I needed to go. My mind wandered back to “there isn’t any money”. And then, I heard him say to submit the form to sign up. (You submit the form and pay a little later.)
As I was praying, I found myself saying “Well, if you submit the form and then the money doesn’t come through, how are you going to pay for it?” I started pondering ways to "make this work”, just in case. And then I clearly saw the problem.
You are not taking a step of faith if you walk to the edge of the cliff and build a barrier around the edge to keep you safe. You are not taking a step of faith if you are doing something you can handle on your own. And if you are figuring out ways to “make it work”, you are doing it, not God. You cannot keep one foot on the ground and the other dangling over the edge. When we do this, we are still relying on our footing, not God’s miracles. That might be faith but it is faith in what I can figure out, not trusting what God will do.
You know the really sad thing. When I have faith in my plans, I totally miss the heart-pounding excitement when I see God move….because I don’t see him move. I see me move. Seeing me move isn’t nearly as much fun! I want to see amazing miracles and in-explainable outcomes! I want to see God in all his glory doing what he does best…take my breath away!
So I submitted the form. I don’t have a plan. I have no idea what’s going to happen but I am not relying on my own understanding. I am acknowledging that God’s got this and I can’t wait to see what he does.